Abusive Relationships; What are the Causes?

Over the few days, I have been reading series of fantastic opinions from different ladies, on Abusive relationships and violence.

I commend their outcry, esp in the area of leave the abusive spouse.
Quite fantastic .


I have a problem, we lack continuity in any cause we fighting , we only raise our voice when terrible things happen.

We stop talking when the heat is down. It would seem like we wait for eventualities before we raise our voice.

We must continue and never keep quite till things are done appropriately or sinks into the hearts of people.
Well done.

In most of the write-ups , advice that tells women to leave abounds more than dealing and curbing the root cause.

No one is asking what are the reasons why men are abusive, no one is proffering solutions.

Leaving may be the solution in some cases but never the cure.

A saying goes thus: No Smoke without a fire.

Does that make sense?

No smoke without a fire.

We may go on and on and on to say all manner of words against men, calling them monsters and all what not, even go as far in categorizing all men to be the same, that won't cure violence and abuse.

No smoke without a fire.

We all are humans and can't pretend to not feel hurt or pissed when people use derogatory words on us.
It doesn't go down well with us.
We just can't deal with it.
No one dares abuse us, and even if they do, everyone should know the limits.

In the heat of an argument, weighty words are usually said, which may result to fiasco.

So the question now is,
Should we avoid quarrel , so there won't be any reasons to fight?

Yes,
Certainly we have to, if that's a way to maintain peace.


In university or in work place, there are things we don't do, just to avoid being sacked or getting an F in examinations.
We do that , so what's the big deal to avoid quarrel or any reasons for arguments?

There are words or names couples shouldn't tell or call their spouses.

Avoid those hurtful words.
Most times the ladies don't take a chill pill, they keep on abusing and looking for words to hurt the spirit, which aught not to be so.

I can't call you a good for nothing, imbecilic, hopeless, bastard, a disgrace , a whore, prostitutes, and etc.. and you expect me to laugh and not reply you?

Cmon, I would be called weak, I need to show that am superior or of importance.

So we go on and on throwing words at each other, listing out achievements, how who made who, then the regret and before we know it, a slap comes in, then a question of you slapped me ? And a reply of I would do it again if you don't respect yourself, and then a challenge, and then the proving of being the man and superior , then a fight, the beating, and probably a killing .

This is a clear scenario of most abuse.
It all starts that way.

No smoke without a fire.


If we don't deal with this, how do we really intend to curb abuse in relationship?

The words we say are weighty.

In some other cases, its not even the exchange of words. Some may be cases of infidelity, disagreement, family interference, and so on, bottom line is, let's deal with the causes !


Let's Start a new conversations!




Ema Bountiful.
© 9-05-2016.